Ladies and gentlemen . . . Tom Waits! Here he comes, stumbling onto the stage, barking nonsense lyrics into a hand-held megaphone. Now a spotlight flashes on his hunched-over body, causing him to rise until he's fully erect and striking a disco pose -- a punch-drunk John Travolta. It's the perfect position to spin a weird, wonderful tale about trees in that whiskey-soaked voice.

It's classic Waits. Except it isn't.

This is Leelee Sobieski, who at 17 is younger than some of the rock singer's stubble. Despite the fact that she barely knows Waits' music, the young star has leaped out from her chair at Dixie's Calhoun restaurant in Minneapolis and is taking over the aisle, reenacting a recent concert she attended. Never mind the rest of the patrons or the sign above the bar requesting "No Loud Talking." Sobieski is deep into the role and for one thrilling moment, you're convinced that she'll start doing Jack Daniel's shots and run through the whole Waits repertoire.

After all, the Emmy-nominated Sobieski has already laid her claim as the most versatile of all teen thespians. Her big-league debuts, the films "Jungle 2 Jungle" and "Deep Impact," suggested that her future might be relegated to playing Helen Hunt's kid sister. But since then, she's given one jaw-dropping performance after another, impressing both teen audiences ("Never Been Kissed") and art-house crowds ("A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries").

She's currently in the Twin Cities wrapping "Here on Earth," a drama about a small-town girl torn between two lovers. It's due for a spring 2000 release.

"I think she's a phenomenon," says "Earth" producer David Friendly, who cast her before "Joan" was broadcast. Sobieski was the first -- and last -- actress to audition. "I wasn't really familiar with her work and I thought I was sort of doing the studio a favor," he says. "She had everything in the scene memorized, nailed it, got up and walked out. I turned to the casting director and said, 'Well, we got that part cast.' I've never seen that happen."

Sobieski's diverse resume fits her personality.

She's exceedingly polite and mature, greeting you with a firm handshake. She insists that you go through doors first, and offers you the chair against the wall in the restaurant because it offers a better view. When the waitress arrives, she waits to see what you're going to order and promptly follows suit ("Then I'll have the lemonade, too"). She shares weird, wonderful analogies, utilizing whatever is around her, in this case, a bowl of spiced banana ketchup for the French fries and a tossed salad.

"I think you work harder when there's a tiny opening," she says, talking in a loud but precise voice, occasionally stamping her foot or banging on the table to emphasize a point. "If you have the opportunity to have banana ketchup, you might start to think about pear ketchup, but if there's no opportunity to eat banana ketchup, you might not push as hard for the pear ketchup."

Sobieski has a small but memorable role opposite Tom Cruise in Stanley Kubrick's "Eyes Wide Shut." After seeing it for the first time, in a Minneapolis theater, she felt like she'd been run over by a truck. "I was in a daze for hours," she said. "It was like 'The Matrix.' The whole world was on pause. Like the salad was a salad, but it wasn't real food."

She keeps half the fries to the side, saving them for her younger brother who, along with her parents, always travels with her, even though she's 17, which in Hollywood years equals 35 for other mortals.

"If they're not there, I miss them so much," she says. "Sometimes I'll be out with all the young actors and everything. Sometimes I'll have a wonderful time, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I come home and say, 'I'd have had a much better time if I had stayed home with you guys, just for that day.' They have so much influence on me. I could be so firm on my opinion about banana ketchup and then they'll show me one little thing and I'll have to change my opinion on the banana ketchup. It drives me crazy, but it happens all the time and it's good."

She admits to enjoying an occasional glass of wine, but says really drunk people make her cry. She writes lots of poetry, dreams of directing and insists on playing only teenagers making tough choices. At the same time, she admits that she almost went skinny dipping in Lake Calhoun one evening ("It was too dark and scary") and roamed around Uptown on several occasions this summer searching for a boyfriend ("I was determined, but it's too late now").

She occasionally goes out in public in colorful wigs, but not to hide. Just for yuks.

Her persona was clearly shaped by an artistic, rich childhood. She split her time between New York City and France. Her mother, a free-lance writer, and father, an actor/artist, introduced her to Shakespeare in the Park when she was 3. She learned how to paint with oils, dance ballet and ride horses. She designed her own dress for the Emmy awards on a computer, but had to give it up when she realized she'd have to be in Los Angeles to work with a tailor on the unique fitting.

"She approaches life in a much more unique fashion than most of us," says "Earth" co-star Josh Hartnett, a Twin Cities native and rising teen actor himself. "She's got a very intellectual/artistic kind of eccentric background and along with that comes a lot of wisdom."

And grace. Sobieski insists she doesn't have a chance to win an Emmy next month for her down-to-earth performance as the legendary martyr in the miniseries "Joan of Arc," considering thather competition includes Ann-Margret, Stockard Channing, Judy Davis and Helen Mirren. Still, you point out, "Joan" led the movie field with 13 nominations and she's the only nominated actress in a network broadcast, meaning she had a much wider audience. You think she's going to win. A bet is made. For a vat of banana ketchup.

"Of course, if I do win the Emmy, I have no idea how to send you a vat of banana ketchup," she says. "It'll be a mental bet."